and you cant help but ask why
my son just asked why but had no interest in listening to the answer, just as well, I dont see any benefit in him hearing that.
but you might.
every holiday there is, is greatly defigned by how much the bread winner in a family is able to earn and therefore pay for the quality of said holiday, none so great as christmas. each is a painful reminder that you are not wealthy and worse yet there is always the rediculous supposition that you are simple being a sourpuss that money really doesnt matter, as each member of your family has a sad longing in their eyes for something that you surely should be able to provide for them that you surely cannot.
this year grandmas saved the day, one of our three kids will get nearly everything on his list, not because I manage to make a rediculous amount of money but because 2 people who no longer have to support a family found it in their hearts to send us money in time to make christmas happen. I am grateful beyond words. Yet, in this culture a 'real man' would have found some magical way to play the game and make his life all about work while simultaniously being there for his family at just the right time, striking this wonderful balance that doesnt exist for any guy who ever lived. My dad bought me ski lessons for christmas when I was 10, sent me to japan when I was 16, died when I was 21. I was just thinking today how hard it is to even remember him already. I cant afford to take my sons skiing, cant imagine sending them to japan, I'm here with them but somehow without the things that cost money it doesnt seem to be enough. so its not possible to be a good dad, how nice. I love them so much and yet I am faced with such horrible choices, horrible choices really, do I give them the leg up that they need to make it in the world or do I give them a dad that is really there for them? so I do my best which winds up being very little of either, I'm here but I am not here, I have a good job that pays well but I live in an area - where the job is - that leaves me with nothing left to give them even monitarily. and we are very stuck in that reality.
how far we have come.
dont we deserve more from life than this? I mean, at least if thats what we want and what we work for? cant I at least be a good father and husband? or is that too much to ask?
I remember my dad telling me that he really hated being an engineer, really hated it, for 25 fucking years! and nobody cared, I would have cared, if I had known but it wasnt ok for him to complain back then, once I was grown he felt safe confiding in me, not my mom, sisters or his friends, just me, another man, facing the same darkness, I felt horrible, all those trips to hawaii, japan, the skiing, I would give anything for him to have just been happy all those years. he finally took time for himself and went after what he really wanted to do with his life, was only a thesis away from a phd and already had a high paying consulting gig in his new field, he was gainfully employed at that for about 2 weeks before he got sick, living with a friend, broke, after a lifetime of success and money and pride. he died broke and unfullfilled.
he was 51, I am only 34 now but I feel like I am way ahead of him, killing myself for nothing.
but what else could I possibly do? nothing else is really acceptable and I am ok with that, I just wish someone understood, I wish my dad was still alive, he would understand and that would be enough.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Friday, December 17, 2004
100 things about me
1. I love little electronic gadgets.
2. Filamento is my favorite store but they are gone now, they used to be on Fillmore in San Francisco.
3. I drink an average of 3 glasses of wine every night, but only since 1994 shortly after I got a 'real' job.
4. I love the color of my wifes eyes.
5. If I could choose a state to live in it would most likely be California
6. If I could I would stay up until 2 and wake up at 10.
7. With rare exception I have always done my own laundry since I was 7.
8. I gave up caffeine, but not coffee (went to decaf) in March of 2003.
9. There is about 46 cubic yards of stuff I dont ever use in my house.
10. I haven't known my neighboors since I was 14.
11. I've started to write 2 books, I have only read about 30 in my life.
12. I know that if I am to 'be' I cant grow up.
13. I have very few friends, they are all strange in some way.
14. I would never want to be 15 again.
15. I hate wall to wall carpet, I love hardwood floors with oriental rugs.
16. For most of my life it has taken me 2 hours to fall asleep, with the help of wine, 45min.
17. I have one cousin who doesnt believe in god, however, he and everyone I am related to in this country is a babtised mormon, except me.
18. I grew up at a ski resort in Alaska, taught skiing and was an avid extreme skier until I was too heavy to do it properly.
19. I love Trivial Pursuit but nobody plays it anymore.
20. I like biografical books more than any others.
21. I think that it is possible that reincarnation is real.
22. 22 is the day I was born and throughout my life I have seen that number in odd places like dumptrucks far more than other numbers. I have always thought it was
an omen
23. I wish I had known my wife from birth.
24. I am not aware of computers in the same way you are not aware of a window while looking at a mountain through it.
25. My cat is named after a character in Mrs. Mungers Class, the cat is dopic the character only said 'what?'
26. I hate eating chinese food with anything other than chopsticks.
27. I dont like dogs.
28. I wish I could go to mars before I die.
29. My favorite color is a very dark deep blue that is almost purple.
30. One of my favorite places is a giant rock the size of a house in a quiet neighborhood in Berkeley.
31. My favorite actor used to be Judd Nelson, but is no longer, not sure who is now.
32. I learned Transendental Meditation when I was 12.
33. I love almonds and macadamias.
34. I thought of myself as a republican when I was a kid but wouldnt have voted for Reagan and have always voted anti-republican but not always democrat, I am anti-
partisan.
35. I have only dated one person that had both of her parents and I have never dated a non-smoker, yet I dont smoke.
36. I type about 70wpm.
37. It annoys me when people use 'then' when they should use 'than', yet I cant spell to save myself, unless its verbally and for someone else.
38. My favorite TV show is The West Wing. I used to love cheers then seinfeld then friends but have no interest in re-runs.
39. I wanted to grow up to be like buckaroo bonzai.
40. I often lay awake at night and think about code.
41. The best birthday present I ever got was a pile of dirt for my 4th birthday, I later found out it wasnt intended for me but when I was overjoyed at the gift my dad let
me play with it, making tunnels and such until I was tired of it, when he proceded with his origenal plans.
42. The answer to life, the universe and everything.
43. My favorite cookies are chocolate chunk cookies.
44. I rarely have a number long enough to know it.
45. My favorite wine is Francis Ford Copplolas Rubicon, I have only tasted it once.
46. I hate minivans.
47. I used to have a new set of dishes from macys.
48. I hate holidays, the rare exception is when I am able to get a perfect gift for someone that they would not have asked for or known about, if I could always do that I
would love most holidays, the last time I did that was when I got my sister a dark rust-metal mouse about 10 years ago.
49. My wife and I own 4 domain names that are very rarely used and mostly only by us.
50. I have three email addresses that I actually use.
51. I like home automation technologies, I wish I could build some myself, my cousin has, the one that doesnt believe in god.
52. I hate Nascar and anything related to Nascar such as flags, lawn ornaments, commercials, the race themselves. I like formula 1,2 and european rally racing.
53. I think Picabo Street is awesome, Bill Johnson sucks, Tommy Moe trained in the town I grew up in, he was very good but full of himself. I wish I knew how to golf.
54. I love bailys haggen daz
55. I was a: frame assembler, babysitter, paperboy, roadside trash collector(3), dishwasher(2), ski instructor, video store clerk, Ice cream shop clerk, data entry/office
assistant, bell boy, hotel desk clerk(2), healthfood cafe clerk, cannery worker, carpenter, school van driver, groundskeeper, fireman, waiter, and warehouse worker/
forklift operator all before I turned 21.
56. If I go to a fast food place it's Taco Bell and I order the 1 Burrito Supreme, 1 Taco Supreme meal.
57. My favorite resaurant is still the Double Musky in Girdwood, AK.
58. I think religion is wierd, I think it is the source of all predjudice and hate.
59. The most I've ever won on a lottery ticket is $100 on a scratcher.
60. The last movie I rented was Collateral which I thought was so so.
61. Movies I could watch over and over again include: Airplane (40+ times so far), the Breakfast Club, High Fidelity, As Good as It gets, the Holy Grail, Pulp Fiction.
62. Movies that should be removed from existence: Star Trek the wrath of Kaan, fatasy island dude with a white wig is just laim.
63. I have a few pieces of the original great wall of china, most of what you see today was built in the 20s for tourists.
64. I love the works of Michael Parks, George Serat, Yamagata, Houng, and Scott Melear Clark. I have known the last 2 personally, they inspired me to paint, which I
love but am not good at.
65. I never had school lunch or a lunchbox as a kid, I had a paper bag, usually with penut butter and honey sandwich, and an apple, never chips or cookies or any food
with a label, It was meant to be healthy, I always thought we were too poor for me to eat school lunch, turns out apples werent cheap in Kodiak Alaska and school
lunches were.
66. Best books: Desert Notes; Barry Holston Lopez, 2 years in the melting pot; Liu Zongren, Illusions; Richard Bach, Do It!; Jerry Rubin, Ishmael; Daniel Quinn, Way of
the Peaceful warrior; Dan Millman, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, The Art of War; Tsun Tzu, Nicomacean Ethics; Aristotle, Echiridon; Epictetus, the
Fountainhead; Ayn Rand, Everything and a Kite; Ray Romano.
67. I never finish slow books.
68. Favorite beer Thomas Kemper Integralle - no longer made, I also like Sapporo but I hate Kirin. Best truth cerum beer: Chemmay
69. I've never gone to the doctor for a broken bone but I have broken my nose, dislocated my knee and shoulder, cracked a rib, however as a child I went to the ER for
stitches or blood poisening a total of 5 times before I went to kindergarten.
70. I've had 3 speeding tickets and one dismissed ticket for running a red light. I have one unpaid parking ticket that I got when I was at the courthouse getting my red
light ticket dismissed, It has been 15 years, I have never paid it.
71. I do not have a dream car, however, I know I would love driving a '92 porche 911 C4, I would also love an Astin Martin Vanquish.
72. My favorite sport is skiing, I love people watching, mostly for the stories I make up about them and their lives.
73. I hate baseball with a passion, I dislike most team sports and I enjoy bowling about once every 10 years.
74. I know all the words to the song "Loser" by Beck
75. I once Snow skied and water skied on the same weekend in june, each about 2.5 hours from where I lived, both at lakes; tahoe and sonoma
76. I prefer a large real tree for Christmas, preferably one I cut myself in a national park, aritficial trees seem like the nail in the coffin of christmas spirit.
77. I only had 3 wisdom teeth, they were pulled when I was 19, in place of the 4th my 12 year molar grew a 5th crown that was ground off by my orthodontist with a
dremel looking sander tool, no novacain.
78. I love the large size of my new cell phone, the first in years I can dial with one hand, I hate the plan and coverage.
79. I'm convinced that my wife will never believe how much I love her.
80. The first girl I ever kissed was a native alaskan girl, I dont know her name, we were both in mr. santoros 1st grade class, I got in trouble, they called my parents
who were mad to my face when I got home but as I left the room I caught my dad doing a 'victory fist' showing that he was proud that his son was already jiggy with the
ladies, I didnt kiss a girl again until I was 16.
81. My desk has a picture of my family and a bamboo tree on it.
82. I have been visiting Glassdog.com since the summer of 1996, it used to be a cutting edge web design tutorial that changed frequently, recently it became a blog
which I follow daily.
83. I bought an Olympus OMpc for $275 in 1987, I still have it but it has not worked properly since 1990, I wish I could convert it somehow to take digital, it is a perfect
camera.
84. Outside of salons, my sister has cut my hair more times than anyone, my wife is the only other person to have cut my hair.
85. At one time, recently, we had 3 teenagers and a baby in our house, I calculated that we spent more money on milk than gas.
86. If I had could raid a clothing store it would probably be Nordstrom, I have had a card from there since 1990 but havent had an available balance in 4 years.
87. I have a serious addiction to buying scratchers, I hate gambling but I keep thinking that one day I will bring joy to my family for years to come.
88. I am 34 years old.
89. I think ice-hocky is yet another boring team sport.
90. I'm the youngest of three siblings 2 sisters 40 and 42
91. I have a pair of timberland boots I bought 12 years ago for $175 they have needed new soles for years.
92. I make the worlds best burritoes but havent made my best for many years, when I did my mother said they were better than hers, a high honor.
93. I desperately want enough money to buy my wife a three stone diamond wedding ring, a tiffany keychain, a real house, a touareg and a field of daisys.
94. My least favorite chore is ironing, next is folding but I dont mind washing.
95. My favorite tool is my worm drive circular saw, my ex-brother in law gave it to me, it has accidentally cut a 3 inch wood screw perfectly in half, the long way.
96. I really, really wish every light switch in my house was controlled by a computer that I could program.
97. I love everything I need in a house to be on one floor but I dont like single story houses.
98. I have had cats named; Martini, Sisco, Skoshi, Zoe, Hercules, Zena, Mahoot, and Bobo.
99. I once assembled a bookcase for a retired Lockeed engineer who worked on developing ICBMs but could not understand the directions to assemble said bookcase.
100. My favorite smell is my wifes neck.
2. Filamento is my favorite store but they are gone now, they used to be on Fillmore in San Francisco.
3. I drink an average of 3 glasses of wine every night, but only since 1994 shortly after I got a 'real' job.
4. I love the color of my wifes eyes.
5. If I could choose a state to live in it would most likely be California
6. If I could I would stay up until 2 and wake up at 10.
7. With rare exception I have always done my own laundry since I was 7.
8. I gave up caffeine, but not coffee (went to decaf) in March of 2003.
9. There is about 46 cubic yards of stuff I dont ever use in my house.
10. I haven't known my neighboors since I was 14.
11. I've started to write 2 books, I have only read about 30 in my life.
12. I know that if I am to 'be' I cant grow up.
13. I have very few friends, they are all strange in some way.
14. I would never want to be 15 again.
15. I hate wall to wall carpet, I love hardwood floors with oriental rugs.
16. For most of my life it has taken me 2 hours to fall asleep, with the help of wine, 45min.
17. I have one cousin who doesnt believe in god, however, he and everyone I am related to in this country is a babtised mormon, except me.
18. I grew up at a ski resort in Alaska, taught skiing and was an avid extreme skier until I was too heavy to do it properly.
19. I love Trivial Pursuit but nobody plays it anymore.
20. I like biografical books more than any others.
21. I think that it is possible that reincarnation is real.
22. 22 is the day I was born and throughout my life I have seen that number in odd places like dumptrucks far more than other numbers. I have always thought it was
an omen
23. I wish I had known my wife from birth.
24. I am not aware of computers in the same way you are not aware of a window while looking at a mountain through it.
25. My cat is named after a character in Mrs. Mungers Class, the cat is dopic the character only said 'what?'
26. I hate eating chinese food with anything other than chopsticks.
27. I dont like dogs.
28. I wish I could go to mars before I die.
29. My favorite color is a very dark deep blue that is almost purple.
30. One of my favorite places is a giant rock the size of a house in a quiet neighborhood in Berkeley.
31. My favorite actor used to be Judd Nelson, but is no longer, not sure who is now.
32. I learned Transendental Meditation when I was 12.
33. I love almonds and macadamias.
34. I thought of myself as a republican when I was a kid but wouldnt have voted for Reagan and have always voted anti-republican but not always democrat, I am anti-
partisan.
35. I have only dated one person that had both of her parents and I have never dated a non-smoker, yet I dont smoke.
36. I type about 70wpm.
37. It annoys me when people use 'then' when they should use 'than', yet I cant spell to save myself, unless its verbally and for someone else.
38. My favorite TV show is The West Wing. I used to love cheers then seinfeld then friends but have no interest in re-runs.
39. I wanted to grow up to be like buckaroo bonzai.
40. I often lay awake at night and think about code.
41. The best birthday present I ever got was a pile of dirt for my 4th birthday, I later found out it wasnt intended for me but when I was overjoyed at the gift my dad let
me play with it, making tunnels and such until I was tired of it, when he proceded with his origenal plans.
42. The answer to life, the universe and everything.
43. My favorite cookies are chocolate chunk cookies.
44. I rarely have a number long enough to know it.
45. My favorite wine is Francis Ford Copplolas Rubicon, I have only tasted it once.
46. I hate minivans.
47. I used to have a new set of dishes from macys.
48. I hate holidays, the rare exception is when I am able to get a perfect gift for someone that they would not have asked for or known about, if I could always do that I
would love most holidays, the last time I did that was when I got my sister a dark rust-metal mouse about 10 years ago.
49. My wife and I own 4 domain names that are very rarely used and mostly only by us.
50. I have three email addresses that I actually use.
51. I like home automation technologies, I wish I could build some myself, my cousin has, the one that doesnt believe in god.
52. I hate Nascar and anything related to Nascar such as flags, lawn ornaments, commercials, the race themselves. I like formula 1,2 and european rally racing.
53. I think Picabo Street is awesome, Bill Johnson sucks, Tommy Moe trained in the town I grew up in, he was very good but full of himself. I wish I knew how to golf.
54. I love bailys haggen daz
55. I was a: frame assembler, babysitter, paperboy, roadside trash collector(3), dishwasher(2), ski instructor, video store clerk, Ice cream shop clerk, data entry/office
assistant, bell boy, hotel desk clerk(2), healthfood cafe clerk, cannery worker, carpenter, school van driver, groundskeeper, fireman, waiter, and warehouse worker/
forklift operator all before I turned 21.
56. If I go to a fast food place it's Taco Bell and I order the 1 Burrito Supreme, 1 Taco Supreme meal.
57. My favorite resaurant is still the Double Musky in Girdwood, AK.
58. I think religion is wierd, I think it is the source of all predjudice and hate.
59. The most I've ever won on a lottery ticket is $100 on a scratcher.
60. The last movie I rented was Collateral which I thought was so so.
61. Movies I could watch over and over again include: Airplane (40+ times so far), the Breakfast Club, High Fidelity, As Good as It gets, the Holy Grail, Pulp Fiction.
62. Movies that should be removed from existence: Star Trek the wrath of Kaan, fatasy island dude with a white wig is just laim.
63. I have a few pieces of the original great wall of china, most of what you see today was built in the 20s for tourists.
64. I love the works of Michael Parks, George Serat, Yamagata, Houng, and Scott Melear Clark. I have known the last 2 personally, they inspired me to paint, which I
love but am not good at.
65. I never had school lunch or a lunchbox as a kid, I had a paper bag, usually with penut butter and honey sandwich, and an apple, never chips or cookies or any food
with a label, It was meant to be healthy, I always thought we were too poor for me to eat school lunch, turns out apples werent cheap in Kodiak Alaska and school
lunches were.
66. Best books: Desert Notes; Barry Holston Lopez, 2 years in the melting pot; Liu Zongren, Illusions; Richard Bach, Do It!; Jerry Rubin, Ishmael; Daniel Quinn, Way of
the Peaceful warrior; Dan Millman, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, The Art of War; Tsun Tzu, Nicomacean Ethics; Aristotle, Echiridon; Epictetus, the
Fountainhead; Ayn Rand, Everything and a Kite; Ray Romano.
67. I never finish slow books.
68. Favorite beer Thomas Kemper Integralle - no longer made, I also like Sapporo but I hate Kirin. Best truth cerum beer: Chemmay
69. I've never gone to the doctor for a broken bone but I have broken my nose, dislocated my knee and shoulder, cracked a rib, however as a child I went to the ER for
stitches or blood poisening a total of 5 times before I went to kindergarten.
70. I've had 3 speeding tickets and one dismissed ticket for running a red light. I have one unpaid parking ticket that I got when I was at the courthouse getting my red
light ticket dismissed, It has been 15 years, I have never paid it.
71. I do not have a dream car, however, I know I would love driving a '92 porche 911 C4, I would also love an Astin Martin Vanquish.
72. My favorite sport is skiing, I love people watching, mostly for the stories I make up about them and their lives.
73. I hate baseball with a passion, I dislike most team sports and I enjoy bowling about once every 10 years.
74. I know all the words to the song "Loser" by Beck
75. I once Snow skied and water skied on the same weekend in june, each about 2.5 hours from where I lived, both at lakes; tahoe and sonoma
76. I prefer a large real tree for Christmas, preferably one I cut myself in a national park, aritficial trees seem like the nail in the coffin of christmas spirit.
77. I only had 3 wisdom teeth, they were pulled when I was 19, in place of the 4th my 12 year molar grew a 5th crown that was ground off by my orthodontist with a
dremel looking sander tool, no novacain.
78. I love the large size of my new cell phone, the first in years I can dial with one hand, I hate the plan and coverage.
79. I'm convinced that my wife will never believe how much I love her.
80. The first girl I ever kissed was a native alaskan girl, I dont know her name, we were both in mr. santoros 1st grade class, I got in trouble, they called my parents
who were mad to my face when I got home but as I left the room I caught my dad doing a 'victory fist' showing that he was proud that his son was already jiggy with the
ladies, I didnt kiss a girl again until I was 16.
81. My desk has a picture of my family and a bamboo tree on it.
82. I have been visiting Glassdog.com since the summer of 1996, it used to be a cutting edge web design tutorial that changed frequently, recently it became a blog
which I follow daily.
83. I bought an Olympus OMpc for $275 in 1987, I still have it but it has not worked properly since 1990, I wish I could convert it somehow to take digital, it is a perfect
camera.
84. Outside of salons, my sister has cut my hair more times than anyone, my wife is the only other person to have cut my hair.
85. At one time, recently, we had 3 teenagers and a baby in our house, I calculated that we spent more money on milk than gas.
86. If I had could raid a clothing store it would probably be Nordstrom, I have had a card from there since 1990 but havent had an available balance in 4 years.
87. I have a serious addiction to buying scratchers, I hate gambling but I keep thinking that one day I will bring joy to my family for years to come.
88. I am 34 years old.
89. I think ice-hocky is yet another boring team sport.
90. I'm the youngest of three siblings 2 sisters 40 and 42
91. I have a pair of timberland boots I bought 12 years ago for $175 they have needed new soles for years.
92. I make the worlds best burritoes but havent made my best for many years, when I did my mother said they were better than hers, a high honor.
93. I desperately want enough money to buy my wife a three stone diamond wedding ring, a tiffany keychain, a real house, a touareg and a field of daisys.
94. My least favorite chore is ironing, next is folding but I dont mind washing.
95. My favorite tool is my worm drive circular saw, my ex-brother in law gave it to me, it has accidentally cut a 3 inch wood screw perfectly in half, the long way.
96. I really, really wish every light switch in my house was controlled by a computer that I could program.
97. I love everything I need in a house to be on one floor but I dont like single story houses.
98. I have had cats named; Martini, Sisco, Skoshi, Zoe, Hercules, Zena, Mahoot, and Bobo.
99. I once assembled a bookcase for a retired Lockeed engineer who worked on developing ICBMs but could not understand the directions to assemble said bookcase.
100. My favorite smell is my wifes neck.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Where do I file a PTC complaint?
email I sent to http://www.parentstv.org/
you can to!
This is the group that has been bombarding the FCC begging them to take away our rights.
I am a parent of three, 22months, 13 and 15. I am an adult, I have an opposable thumb and a brain and I am not afraid to use either, I don't let my kids watch southpark, its really not that hard to be a good parent without the aid of the FCC trampling on our rights. I am not religious, therefore as an adult I can find nasty stuff on comedy central quite entertaining and would never be offended and when my kids are old enough to know better than to mimic rude behavior they see on TV I will watch it with them without getting my knickers in a twist.
Your group is part of a groundswell of conservatives that are attacking every key element of the freedoms that built this great nation. Its probably already too late for you, the extreme measures you have gone to to shove your moral agenda down our collective throats are already causing massive backlash, you know you have stepped over the line when an average clean cut joe like me wants to push back, its not like its the hells angels that want lingerie biker chics on prime time, its average free Americans that you are stepping on. When you go too far you leave us no choice but to do the same, now instead of compromising and taking it easy on the religious folks in the neighborhood, we have to make sure that somebody keeps some good smut and nasty talk going 24/7 on TV and Radio just so that we can tune in from time to time and make sure this is still America. My youngest watches Noggin, if I catch something obnoxious on that station when I have come to expect good programming for small children I am going to raise hell, not with the FCC but with Noggin, I am their customer, I dont need them fined, what greater fine is there than to lose their customers?
Just my 2 cents, wish you folks would back off.
Thanks,
you can to!
This is the group that has been bombarding the FCC begging them to take away our rights.
I am a parent of three, 22months, 13 and 15. I am an adult, I have an opposable thumb and a brain and I am not afraid to use either, I don't let my kids watch southpark, its really not that hard to be a good parent without the aid of the FCC trampling on our rights. I am not religious, therefore as an adult I can find nasty stuff on comedy central quite entertaining and would never be offended and when my kids are old enough to know better than to mimic rude behavior they see on TV I will watch it with them without getting my knickers in a twist.
Your group is part of a groundswell of conservatives that are attacking every key element of the freedoms that built this great nation. Its probably already too late for you, the extreme measures you have gone to to shove your moral agenda down our collective throats are already causing massive backlash, you know you have stepped over the line when an average clean cut joe like me wants to push back, its not like its the hells angels that want lingerie biker chics on prime time, its average free Americans that you are stepping on. When you go too far you leave us no choice but to do the same, now instead of compromising and taking it easy on the religious folks in the neighborhood, we have to make sure that somebody keeps some good smut and nasty talk going 24/7 on TV and Radio just so that we can tune in from time to time and make sure this is still America. My youngest watches Noggin, if I catch something obnoxious on that station when I have come to expect good programming for small children I am going to raise hell, not with the FCC but with Noggin, I am their customer, I dont need them fined, what greater fine is there than to lose their customers?
Just my 2 cents, wish you folks would back off.
Thanks,
letter to the FCC
"My vote for best media/television story of the year goes to one you may have missed. Mediaweek reported on Dec. 6 that of all the "indecency complaints" to the Federal Communications Commission in 2003, a startling 99.8 percent of them came from one conservative group, the Parents Television Council."
from smirkingchimp
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/article.php?sid=19081&mode=nested&order=0
so I sent this to the head of the FCC:
"I'm a relatively upstanding citizen. I have three kids. They only
watch what I let them.
-- "I know how to use my TV remote. I know how to turn my television off.
-- "On my television, I like violence. I like nudity. I like guns
going off. I like people having sex. I like swearing. I like shows
with gay people in them. I like shows where gay people have sex. I
like shows where gay people shoot guns. And swear. I like stuff that
blows up.
-- "I also like 'Little Bear.' And shows about architecture and
design. And C-SPAN. If that helps.
-- "I hope this e-mail offsets another from the Parents Television
Council. I hope you get a lot more just like this. Because I want the
PTC out of my living room. I've got a sneaking suspicion they're going
to end up in my bedroom.
"Yours sincerely."
this was written by Tim Goodman of the sfcronicle but I am happy to
use his words as my own. I never watch football, ever, but for some
reason I turned on the halftime show this year, just to see what they
would come up with this time, it sucked, it was boring and trite, my
kids saw 1.2 seconds of Janets boob, it happens, when there is nudity
in movies they look away, they are a bit young to get so much
information but they are also a bit too human to have all of reality
hidden from them. No harm came to my children or myself and anyone
who feels otherwise should really become Amish, I would have no
problem with that but fining the network over that was horrifically
embarrassing and harmful. to my kids. now they have no clue that this
is a free country full of open minded people who fight for everyone's
right to be human and be happy now they think they live in the former
soviet union.
shame on you all.
from smirkingchimp
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/article.php?sid=19081&mode=nested&order=0
so I sent this to the head of the FCC:
"I'm a relatively upstanding citizen. I have three kids. They only
watch what I let them.
-- "I know how to use my TV remote. I know how to turn my television off.
-- "On my television, I like violence. I like nudity. I like guns
going off. I like people having sex. I like swearing. I like shows
with gay people in them. I like shows where gay people have sex. I
like shows where gay people shoot guns. And swear. I like stuff that
blows up.
-- "I also like 'Little Bear.' And shows about architecture and
design. And C-SPAN. If that helps.
-- "I hope this e-mail offsets another from the Parents Television
Council. I hope you get a lot more just like this. Because I want the
PTC out of my living room. I've got a sneaking suspicion they're going
to end up in my bedroom.
"Yours sincerely."
this was written by Tim Goodman of the sfcronicle but I am happy to
use his words as my own. I never watch football, ever, but for some
reason I turned on the halftime show this year, just to see what they
would come up with this time, it sucked, it was boring and trite, my
kids saw 1.2 seconds of Janets boob, it happens, when there is nudity
in movies they look away, they are a bit young to get so much
information but they are also a bit too human to have all of reality
hidden from them. No harm came to my children or myself and anyone
who feels otherwise should really become Amish, I would have no
problem with that but fining the network over that was horrifically
embarrassing and harmful. to my kids. now they have no clue that this
is a free country full of open minded people who fight for everyone's
right to be human and be happy now they think they live in the former
soviet union.
shame on you all.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Great blog on the Bushs, Iraq, rummy
http://ratfuckdiary.blogspot.com/2004/12/detailsdetails.html
"...How come no one ever mentions that when George Bush Sr. was head of the CIA, the US was so cozy with Saddam Hussein and the bin Laden family that Daddy WarBush hired Saddam Hussein as a CIA paid assassin. Another detail we hear precious little about is that the US armed Iraq to the teeth to protect our oil interests in Iraq. Those arms and weapons are now being used against us...."
"...How come no one ever mentions that when George Bush Sr. was head of the CIA, the US was so cozy with Saddam Hussein and the bin Laden family that Daddy WarBush hired Saddam Hussein as a CIA paid assassin. Another detail we hear precious little about is that the US armed Iraq to the teeth to protect our oil interests in Iraq. Those arms and weapons are now being used against us...."
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Who was this jesus dude anyway?
excerpt from an email:
weird, never thought of him as a lunatic or a liar, I guess thats because I think the bible has a lot of lies written by bad men for the purpose of control, I believe that he must have existed as a simple soft spoken man who just wanted us to love each other, and I think the rest of it was words put in his mouth, but I dont know him, anymore than I know mother therasa, same goes for sidartha(budda) he was the son of a king, found out that there was pain and suffering, had a meltdown and came out of it with some wisdom, thats it, and yet even he was deified.
weird, never thought of him as a lunatic or a liar, I guess thats because I think the bible has a lot of lies written by bad men for the purpose of control, I believe that he must have existed as a simple soft spoken man who just wanted us to love each other, and I think the rest of it was words put in his mouth, but I dont know him, anymore than I know mother therasa, same goes for sidartha(budda) he was the son of a king, found out that there was pain and suffering, had a meltdown and came out of it with some wisdom, thats it, and yet even he was deified.
so yes, the jesus and the god in the bible to me sound like lunatics and/or liars but I dont beleive the bible is their book at all, I only have humans who are falable telling me that it is, that cant be enough, only people who feel the precence of god can feel otherwise, because without that they just have people telling them what to think.
so anyway, I dont believe that he even claimed to be the son of god. I have started to read the davinci code, found some really interesting stuff in there, it is totally a book of fiction but it threads in some real verifyable facts, like in the painting the last supper, there are two things I never would have noticed had they not been pointed out, there is a woman to Jesus' right and there is an extra hand that belongs to no one in the picture that is holding a knife. now those two things you can verify, but whats beyond that is conjecture, but interesting none the less, in the book it is proported that the woman is mary magdelin and that like Jesus, lies where made up about her too, she was not a prositute, she was his wife, had his child and was to carry on the cause after his death but the other followers didnt like that, so they banished her, made things up about her and went on to build the whole concept that women were subserviant to men, threading the bible with everything they could to keep women in their place. Later this lead to things like witch hunts, anything even being a doula, that a woman would do as a healer or herbalist etc... put power in the hands of women, so they were percecuted for it.
It is actually the notion of women being subserviant that was the first thing I had a problem with in church as a kid, it just seemed patently wrong from the first time I heard it.
anyway, thats all interpretation, well everything is when you talk about history, I think the story in monty pythons the life of brian is as plausable an explanation of jesus as any.
so what is left? we have all these writings, conjecture, thoughts, feelings etc... all we can do is sift out of them what makes sense and that is where I come back to 'we hold these truths to be self evident' there are truths spoken in the bible, by socrates by sidartha, by confusious but only those that are self evident, I like to expand on that, self evidence, if Jesus says (and I dont know that he does) that the world would be better for all of us if we just tried to love and forgive each other more, I dont car if that was divine inspiration, the words of a simple man or the writings of evil people years after his death, that part of what is said is a self evident truth and the value of it is that even though it is self evident not everyone would have thought of it quite like that had it not been said. Those morsels are what I defign as wisdom, things that immediatly ring true for the listener, whereas when some pagan says you will be exalted in the afterlife if you throw a goat into a volcano, I have to say, err, doesnt ring so much for me dude, guess I will have to pass on that there advice.
so you can see, I dont necessarily go against the christian god or jesus, I am really against the bible, so if there is a god, if jesus was his son and there is an afterlife, when I am judged I will say, never knew weither or not you guys were real, didnt believe in the bible but regardless I tried my best to be a good person and to be good to other people and to life on this planet in general and not to hedge my bets just in case you were real but because I judge myself more harshly than you ever could, your shame in me I can bear but my own I cannot, that means no disrespect it just means that I have high standards for myself and it sounds like less forgiveness than you. anyway, its entirely possible that the bible was partially inspired by god but over the years got corrupted by groups of men in power, parts of it sort of tilted to achieve their ends and in the end if there is a god, it could say, my words were corrupted some of you did your best to follow these words with the best intentions, interpreted them as best you could and tried to be good people, some of you didnt beleive them but still tried to be good people, some of you pretended to follow them and used them for evil and as an exuse to kill others and some of you where just bad people, those of you that were good regardless of your method are ready for the next level, those of you that werent, didnt get the message and need to try again.
so I should be more clear about my beliefs I guess, I dont know if there is a god or not but I dont believe in the bible for sure.
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Tell me all your thoughts on god
Excerpt from an email:
wow, well this is a tough one, yet an easy one. sounds like being good has nothing to do with going to heaven, its all about recognizing god. Haven't read the whole bible but I have read enough, even this excerpt is enough to remind me of what I have found before. Most people who are not Christians have more of a passive, the whole thing just doesn't work for me. With me its much more extreme. To me, good and evil are universal truths. The god speaking in the excerpt you sent does not represent good or evil to me, even if I knew that everything was completely true, that this god is before me that created me, the heavens, etc... if my only path to being with 'him' is to 'confess that Jesus Christ is lord' or in any other way bow to the authority of the creator, I'm simply not going to make it, my good deeds, the way I have chosen to act in this life with no fear of punishment or hope of reward from a god must be the standing element that leads me to where I go next, if that is insufficient to this god, then, I have no other way to put it, this god is insufficient for me. This is very hard to put mildly but the god described in the bible looks like a 50 foot tall spoiled teenager with a severe inferiority complex who needs his ego boosted by bowing followers. How can I justify being so blastfimous? true I didn't create the oceans or shape the earth or create myself, I didn't invent post-its either but one undeniable truth is that I didn't ask to be created and I have spent most of my life wishing I hadn't been, true there is beauty and love and sunsets but in the end there really can be no greater hell than life on earth as a human, I wouldn't trade gifts like My Son for anything but those gifts are few and far between and I don't have the ability to be grateful to a god that I am told exists only by other humans I can only be grateful to My Son, he gives me Joy and he will live in this world too and he didn't ask to be born either, he will make a sacrifice to bring that joy to me so it is he that I must be thankful too, not my parents, president, pope, or god.
To put it simply, the bible has to be wrong, in fact it needs to be way way off for me to accept god. I think this is entirely possible, if there is a god. This book was written by many men, many hundreds of years after the death of Christ, men who actually voted, democratically as to weather or not to call Jesus the son of god or just a man, son of god won out narrowly. now, they all say that these were not their words that everything is divine inspiration but I have to trust those men - not god - that what they say is true, how on earth can I do that?
In my humble opinion, if there is a god and this god is a good god, not an evil Lord, then the goodness of peoples actions, not their allegiance will be rewarded, fearing gods wrath and avoiding punishment by bowing to his power sounds identical to the work of the Mob, we are powerful and all knowing, if you pay us and do what we tell you, your family will be blessed with many good things, if not, we go to work on your kneecaps. That is what the god in the bible sounds like to me.
I think yoda said it best 'fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering' If I live my life based on a fear of something I cannot feel or see, there will be suffering at my hand.
I don't know why I am so different, I have honestly felt exactly like this since as long as I can remember, when I had to go to church when I was little, I felt like I was in a bad place being taught to believe bad things, wrong things, not always, but very often so I took the things that proved themselves to be good and I left the bad behind.
Its very lonely, how you feel, more or less represents 98% of the people on earth, so where do I get off claiming that they are all wrong? I don't, that would be above my station but there is no way for me to force myself to believe what they believe any more than I can walk to mars. Its like nearly everyone in the world believes its flat when I can plainly see that it is round, they have so much that they can point to to prove that it is flat but everything that comes through my eyes is a round earth, I cant squint and make it look flat and what this excerpt tells me is that unless I lie and say, yep, she's flat alright, I'm going to burn for it. I don't mind burning, lying I cant do.
Don't know what to say, if its all true then we aren't going to the same place, the best I can come up with is, don't worry, I wont have any regrets.
wow, well this is a tough one, yet an easy one. sounds like being good has nothing to do with going to heaven, its all about recognizing god. Haven't read the whole bible but I have read enough, even this excerpt is enough to remind me of what I have found before. Most people who are not Christians have more of a passive, the whole thing just doesn't work for me. With me its much more extreme. To me, good and evil are universal truths. The god speaking in the excerpt you sent does not represent good or evil to me, even if I knew that everything was completely true, that this god is before me that created me, the heavens, etc... if my only path to being with 'him' is to 'confess that Jesus Christ is lord' or in any other way bow to the authority of the creator, I'm simply not going to make it, my good deeds, the way I have chosen to act in this life with no fear of punishment or hope of reward from a god must be the standing element that leads me to where I go next, if that is insufficient to this god, then, I have no other way to put it, this god is insufficient for me. This is very hard to put mildly but the god described in the bible looks like a 50 foot tall spoiled teenager with a severe inferiority complex who needs his ego boosted by bowing followers. How can I justify being so blastfimous? true I didn't create the oceans or shape the earth or create myself, I didn't invent post-its either but one undeniable truth is that I didn't ask to be created and I have spent most of my life wishing I hadn't been, true there is beauty and love and sunsets but in the end there really can be no greater hell than life on earth as a human, I wouldn't trade gifts like My Son for anything but those gifts are few and far between and I don't have the ability to be grateful to a god that I am told exists only by other humans I can only be grateful to My Son, he gives me Joy and he will live in this world too and he didn't ask to be born either, he will make a sacrifice to bring that joy to me so it is he that I must be thankful too, not my parents, president, pope, or god.
To put it simply, the bible has to be wrong, in fact it needs to be way way off for me to accept god. I think this is entirely possible, if there is a god. This book was written by many men, many hundreds of years after the death of Christ, men who actually voted, democratically as to weather or not to call Jesus the son of god or just a man, son of god won out narrowly. now, they all say that these were not their words that everything is divine inspiration but I have to trust those men - not god - that what they say is true, how on earth can I do that?
In my humble opinion, if there is a god and this god is a good god, not an evil Lord, then the goodness of peoples actions, not their allegiance will be rewarded, fearing gods wrath and avoiding punishment by bowing to his power sounds identical to the work of the Mob, we are powerful and all knowing, if you pay us and do what we tell you, your family will be blessed with many good things, if not, we go to work on your kneecaps. That is what the god in the bible sounds like to me.
I think yoda said it best 'fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering' If I live my life based on a fear of something I cannot feel or see, there will be suffering at my hand.
I don't know why I am so different, I have honestly felt exactly like this since as long as I can remember, when I had to go to church when I was little, I felt like I was in a bad place being taught to believe bad things, wrong things, not always, but very often so I took the things that proved themselves to be good and I left the bad behind.
Its very lonely, how you feel, more or less represents 98% of the people on earth, so where do I get off claiming that they are all wrong? I don't, that would be above my station but there is no way for me to force myself to believe what they believe any more than I can walk to mars. Its like nearly everyone in the world believes its flat when I can plainly see that it is round, they have so much that they can point to to prove that it is flat but everything that comes through my eyes is a round earth, I cant squint and make it look flat and what this excerpt tells me is that unless I lie and say, yep, she's flat alright, I'm going to burn for it. I don't mind burning, lying I cant do.
Don't know what to say, if its all true then we aren't going to the same place, the best I can come up with is, don't worry, I wont have any regrets.
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